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8 ways to heal anxious attachment style and feel more secure

•Find a partner who is already secure and safe.


•Build your self esteem - work on self compassion. Do activities that make you feel good about yourself, say affirmations, challenge negative beliefs.


•Get in touch with your shame. When you feel like something is wrong with you, you’re feeling shame. Feeling less shame will allow you to feel more worthy.


•Express your emotional needs. This isn’t selfish. Advocating for your needs and wants will allow you to feel more liberated and your partner will be grateful they know how to please you.


•Resist self judgement and criticism. Study and witness that critical voice. Fight that voice by speaking truth and logic.


•Don’t play games: Cut out all passive aggressive behavior. By doing so, you can create the connections you deeply desire. Be self aware and conscientious of any resistance and game playing. Be vulnerable and direct.



• Learn to self soothe when you feel anxious. Avoid blaming others for your emotions and triggers. Take ownership and try to self soothe yourself before looking for an outside source or your partner to make you feel better.



•Focus more on yourself and less obsessing over the relationship. It’s important to have a healthy relationship with self. Continue your self care routine and journal practices. Don’t allow your relationship to consume you to the point you are neglecting yourself.


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